Billy Stohman


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Don't Celebrate Halloween!
10.31.03 (4:09 pm)   [edit]
Moscow has banned Halloween because it is, as we all know, evil. Many children turn from God and Christ every Halloween, and make pacts with the devil. They invite the spirit of Satan with their Oujia boards, and are possesed by him. I know, I saw it on the news. Those Oujia boards work- and they are evil! Stay away!
 
SHOCKING NEWS: Tobacco is Evil
10.30.03 (10:51 am)   [edit]
OK, I bet most of you didn't know this- but Tobacco is harmful to your health. Was that a shock or what! I bet you had no idea!

Did you know what 400,000 Americans die of lung cancer every year? Since we know that tobacco can cause lung cancer if you smoke a few packs a day for a long extended period of time, [i]tobacco kills 400,000 Americans a day![/i]

Some of the evil Big Tobacco corporations have an evil plan to kill everyone in the world, so they will have less consumers left and can go out of business. That's why they invented 'filter' cigarettes. Just because these 'filter' cigarettes are healthier to smoke does not mean they can't kill. If you smoke twice as many filters as you did regular kind, than you will die! [i]There is no safe cigarette.[/i]

It is impossible to stop smoking. One touch of that smooth, refreshing taste and you will start smoking a couple cartons a day, and never be able to stop, ever. Do you hear me? YOU CANNNOT STOP! OK, now you're convinced, try and stop. See- told you! [i]Cigarettes are addictive.[/i]

Just having someone smoke around you can kill you. OK, there aren't actually any decent scientific studies ever conducted that show a link between secondhand smoke and health, [i]but secondhand smoke is deadly.[/i]

When people see a famous or glamorous person smoking, they have no choice but to run out and smoke. And as we all know, no famous or glamorous person like Sean Connery ever really smokes. It's just a public relations scam. [i]The media is run by Big Tobacco.[/i]

Cool people do not smoke. Big Tobacco has spent millions hiring cool people to smoke in their ads. (remember: they don't really smoke!) In order to convince you of this, I am going to play repetitive, mindless video of hip teenagers skateboarding around, not smoking. [i]Smoking isn't cool.[/i]

5 million people die every year from tobacco. Millions more will die soon, according to a study by the CDC and WHO that was torn apart and condemned by the scientific community, and labeled by some groups an 'outright falsification.' [i]Tobacco kills millions.[/i]

Here is a photo of a woman who smoked more cigarettes in a day than the average smoker smokes in a lifetime. Her result is not even close to normal. In fact, all of the people to hold the record for oldest living man and oldest living woman were lifetime chain smokers. But I am going to put this woman's face on a poster, digitally edit it to make it look even worse than it is in reality, and put the label 'average smoker' on it. [i]Smoking makes you ugly.[/i]

Brian Lee Curtis died of lung cancer at age 33, leaving behind a wife and child. OK, his wife only married him because he was dying, and just as many people get oat cell lung cancer that don't smoke, and Curtis smoked over two packs a day, and if you smoke normally there is no chance of tobacco killing you unless you smoke in bed and it starts a fire, but taken out of context, this chilling photo should get you to quit.



You see, when convincing someone of something, scientific analysis and logic don't work near as well as scary photos. Do I feel guilty about lying to his family about the cause of his death, lying to little children about the cause of his death, and exploiting photos of intimate family moments for political gain? No.

If your friends start to smoke, you should nag them to stop. You should call them evil and tell them they are going to die. You should steal their cigarettes. You should tell them they are addicted and are unable to quit. You should turn them into the government when they smoke too close to a building and have them thrown in the slammed. You have that right as a friend. [i]Friends don't let friends smoke.[/i]

People who smoke are idiots. Unless they're in a class action lawsuit- then they're innocent victims. Everyone who smokes does so because they think smoking makes them tough and cool, and that nothing can hurt them- they're invincible. Cancer?- it won't happen to me. [i]These are myths.[/i]

I hope everyone has now learned the [u]real[/u] truth about tobacco.
 
Why music should be banned
10.29.03 (9:16 pm)   [edit]
The following is a radio transcript from Billy Strohman's The Radio Thingy on the Communist One radio network.

BILLY: Hi, I'm Billy Strohman. Today's radio topic is music and which types should be banned. First off, the obvious pick is Marilyn Manson. No, his songs aren't overtly evil- “The Beautiful People” even provides an interesting anti-Pride parable. But the guy worships Satan. He screws goats. He had his ribs taken out so he could suck his own dick. He is evil. Even if you like his music, why would you want to give money to someone that evil? Let's go to the phones.

WOMAN'S VOICE: Hello?

BILLY: Hello, you're on The Radio Thingy. What are your thoughts on banning Marilyn Manson?

WOMAN'S VOICE: My son was listening to some of that Negro music the other day, and when I grabbed the hundreds of dollars worth of CDs that he bought with his own money and ran them through the garbage disposal, he called me a... well it rhymes with 'witch.' That is what this music does to these kids. Look at those kids in Columbine. If they wouldn't have listened to that Negro rock music, they wouldn't have shot all those Christians.

BILLY: That's exactly right. Next caller is Lawrence, from Missouri. Lawrence... what a faggot name.

LAWRENCE: Hello? Yea, Billy, I think you're full of shit. I mean you want to ban Marilyn Manson because he does things you don't like?

BILLY: Yea. It's called Democracy.

LAWRENCE: Yea, um, well would you ban Jerry Lee Lewis just because he married his cousin?

BILLY: Gross! I didn't know that! He's gone!

LAWRENCE: Yea, well what about Queen, just because they're gay? Or Wagner because he was pro-Nazi? Or John Lennon because he was involved in Buddhism? Or Mozart because he was a racist?

BILLY: Hold on- Queen was gay? Didn't see that coming! Anyway, yes. If you do not live up to traditional Christian moral standards, you should have all your art banned.

LAWRENCE: Um, can you name an artist I am allowed to, um, enjoy?

BILLY: Uh... I guess that one Picasso guy wasn't too bad.

LAWRENCE: Dude, he smoked tobacco.

BILLY: Oh yea. Evil bastard. Hmm.... Christian art... who's the dude that painted naked Adam on that one ceiling place? Hmmm... its on the tip of my tounge.

LAWRENCE: Michelangelo?

BILLY: No, I don't think it was Michelangelo... maybe somebody Spanish.

LAWRENCE: No, it was Michelangelo. And he was gay.

BILLY: What! No he wasn't! What the fuck! Fags are barely people- there's no way one of those queers could have done something like that! Well I'll be damned. Looks like we'll be burning down the Sistine Chapel soon. Thanks for the tip off, Lawrence.

LAWRENCE: Look, I don't think you're understanding my point...

BILLY: Thanks for calling! Well, I think we've all learned today that even the most innocent seeming art can be degrading and evil to the soul. You can't even trust the art in your own church. I was going to end the broadcast with the playing of Ave Maria and an admonition to only let your kids listen to hymns, (Boring Puritan-era songs written by white males) but I'm not so sure even that's OK any more. Continue to tune in every night, until I make up my mind what you should hear. Until I find something uplifting, this is Billy Strohman, signing out. Good night, America.
 
Sunday Mailbag #3
10.25.03 (9:13 pm)   [edit]
Well, it's Sunday again, and that means that according to the Bible, you shouldn't be reading this. But since you're probably a heathen, I'll post some comments you have made over the past little while, and maybe throw in a response or two when necessary.

EliMae, for some reason, hates me. Of course, like your average feminist, she does not back up her views with any reason or argument- she simply resorts to childish name-calling. Read her comments below:

“...I would like to say that your views are not only offensive, but are also narrow minded and quite unfounded. Knowing that people like you exist in the world makes me feel like supporting abortion, simply to save all those poor, defenseless babes from belligerent, hateful, socially inept caitiffs such as yourself....”

“I wholeheartredly agree, even though you are depraved and immoral. Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back”



Winston "I find a way to tie my Satanic hatred of the Good and Noble Bush Administration into every possible thing anybody writes, even if it comes nowhere close to having anything to do with corporate oligarchies" Smith wrote in response to my Top 5 Presidents List:

"you seem to have chosen some of the best and some of the worst--it would be funnier if you knew history.

FDR, JFK, Jefferson, Polk, Truman were amongst our best presidents. FDR created the New Deal and saved the "capitalists" from themselves and their insane greed, and ended the great depression without a bloody revolution. FDR was right to confiscate the profits of traitors & crooks like Prescott Bush who was a Nazi collaborator. In those days, war-profiteering and massacring thousands to enrich oneself was considered shameful. Today, the Bushies and their corrupt cronies are swindling America, Iraq and the world."

Well, I'm with you on the anti-capitalist stuff, but Jefferson was a slave-banger, and Bush is Jesus II: The Second Coming.

Not everyone was so stupid. Ruby Tuesday wrote:

"I think I'm in love with you. Never before have I found a man who so values the same high morals and Godly standards as I."

Hey, baby, as soon as we get that Anti-Evil-Baby-Killer-Scu mbag-Satanic-Communist-If YouDon'tSupportThisYou're GoingToHell Act of 2003 passed, then come over by my place. You can cook and clean and suck my dick, fulfilling God's noble role of Womanhood.

But, Ruby, not all women are as Righteous as you are. Calinda Yoshi undertook the courtesy of sending me three seperate messages.

"people like u r the ones that are doomed for hell because if that is how you treat people, you are evil."

"i took your "Where Will You Go In The Afterlife?" quiz and i have to tell you, i was deeply offended. how dare you make a quiz that says that people will go to hell and to put it like that! It's just very... it just isn't nice. None of yuor answers appl"

"I feel so sorry for you.  I hope you find your way and learn to love and know your fellow race.  this is not a good path for anyone, to spread hate.  that is what your quiz is doing.
 ~*~blessed be~*~
calinda
(you need the love, it seems.  for god is in everyone and everything and loves all his creations.  i hope life finds you well.)"

Boy, what a dumbass. Fuck you, Yoshi. What the fuck kind of a name is that? Go fuck an elephant, dipshit. I hope life finds you an STD. I hope you get AIDS and die, you fucking Jap bitch.

And, someone who referred to themsevles as 'Anonymous' wrote:

"...awesome entry! go you!”

Anyway, I will leave you all with one last comment, from nothinghere:

"are you a nazi cuz i went to that site u put on & it seemed nazi-ish. So are you a nazi? (just wondering)"
 
Universal Spiritual Health Care
10.25.03 (6:11 pm)   [edit]
Over 62% of Americans are dissatisfied with the current scandal of the lack of spiritual health care for all citizens in the United States of America. America is the only 1st-tier country that denies its own citizens some form of nationalized religion-- the USA treats its citizenry like some 3rd world oligarchy, bloodthirsty for freedom and liberty.

Indeed, even Saddam Hussein provided spiritual health care for all his citizens, who were not only provided with religion, but had it forced upon them! Now that is a forward thinking man.

America is moving towards universal physical health care, but not spiritual health care? Why not? We are not materialistic heathens. There is nothing more important than a healthy spirit. We should raise taxes and provide every American with churches and spiritual counselors. In time, they may be able to join plans where they can choose their own spiritual doctor.

Of course, that will necessitate changes. Just as the public physical health care system generated more prohibitive laws, so will this public spiritual health care. Before public health care, we could never justify taking away citizens' constitutional liberties to choose how to live their lives in liberty. They could drive unbuckled, smoke cigarettes, ride motorcycles without helmets, eat fatty foods, and refuse to comply to a government-mandated one-size-fits-all daily exercise routine.
But after public health care, these unhealthy behaviors no longer only harmed the unhealthy ones. Now they placed a burden on the society as a whole. Now we could justify controlling their physical lives, making America a safer and healthier place.
Likewise, we if we enact public spiritual health care, we will have excuses to curtail even more liberties. For example, if a person is free to look at pornography, than his spiritual health declines, and the government (read: taxpayers) have to spend more money to get him rehabilitated and his spiritual health back up. So, officers will be able to stop looking for child killers and start cracking down on porn, just like they were able to stop looking for drunk drivers and start cracking down on unbuckled seatbelts.
Soon, all sorts of things will be against the law. Swearing, reading depressing books, masturbating, not going to church, not believing in God, anything that will decrease spiritual health to such a degree that it will give society 'sufficient interest' to ban it.

Middle Eastern nations are shocked by the callousness, greed and crazed corruption of American Big Church Conglomerates, spiritual health care Conglomerates and the Religion Robber-Barons, who bribe the ACLU and the congressmen, to keep our citizens from obtaining the spiritual health care they need. These left-winged hypocrites claim to 'feed the poor,' but when it comes to the poor in spirit, they cry: To Hell With You... If you're a sinner- Tough Shit!

Its time we demand that the Mad Democratic Constitutional Rights and Liberties make room to provide the 120 million citizens (now without adequate spiritual health) with the means to obtain it. The Middle Easterners provide National spiritual health care, which is an excellent system, and if a Middle Eastern leader proposed replacing their own form of Universal health care, with our corrupt 'individual choice' shell-game, their peoples would rise-up enmasse, shoot the leader in the back of the head, gang-rape his daughter, and fly airplanes into tall buildings.

And honestly, when we took away the individual's right to choose his own health system, and manage his own lifestyle, and control his own money, it didn't hurt anyone. A right is a right is a right is a right. If its OK to alienate one, its OK to alienate them all.
 
Shoutbox
10.23.03 (11:28 pm)   [edit]
I added a shoutbox to the sidebar, so idiots will be able to make better fools of themselves. Of course, the comments at the bottom of each article still work, and if you are a real pussy, you can e-mail me privatly at spartacus_007@msn.com

Remember- I respond quicker and better to Premium Members. Become one by sending $50 via PayPal to spartacus_007@msn.com












[image]picofbilly.bmp[/image]
 
quiz: How Will You Die?
10.23.03 (10:50 pm)   [edit]
Ever wondered how you will die?
Find out below.

http://quizilla.com/users/spartacus007/qu izzes/How" title="http://quizilla.com/users/spartacus007/qu izzes/How" target="_blank"http://quizilla.com/users/spa... Will You Die?
 
The Evil of Wal-Mart
10.23.03 (10:04 pm)   [edit]
Thursday's raid (and hopefully later execution) on the illegal immigrants working at Wal-Mart is just the latest example of how evil Wal-Mart is. So, why is Wal-Mart so evil? Here's the evidence:

[b]They're Rich[/b] If Sam Walton hadn't died and split up his fortune, he would be the richest man in the world today. As we all know, rich people are inherently evil. Privation is a form of virtue. Being poor is good, being rich is evil. Walton should have been more like Mother Theresa. Then he would have been happy, just like her.

[b]They're Big[/b] Big Government, fine. But Big Business, oh no! Now, I can already hear the right-wing reactionaries whining about how dealing with a corporation is voluntary, while dealing with a government is not. Well, I've got a message for you: go suck a cock, you fucking faggot.
Wal-Mart is the largest employer in the history of the world. They sold $244.5 billion last year. If the greedy capitalists would have donated that money to starving African dictators, then we wouldn't have the AIDS crisis capitalism is responsible for.

[b]They're better[/b] They offer better goods at cheaper prices than their competitors. Their competitors are often forced out of business, because who in their right mind would buy a crappy lamp at KMart for $20 when they could get a better one at Wal-Mart for $19.99 and pick up some groceries on the way out the door? This is not fair to the inefficent mom&pop stores who are really crappy and will never expand because of inefficent business modules, and only have customers now because they feel sorry for the poor pathetic old fogies.

[b]Illegal Immigrants[/b] As we all know, regular immigrants barely count as people themselves, and so illegal immigrants have got to be way out. If you want to live in a free nation that does not routinely violate the inalienable rights your creator gave you, [u]wait your fucking turn, wetback![/u]

Illegal immigrants take away jobs from less efficent American workers. Well, I guess the illegales techinally are part of a global economy, and spend money here in America, and are more often euntrepostricherheuwpaeur s who create more jobs than they fill, but my good-for-nothing uncle lost his job to a slimey greaser who happened to have a talent for driving a taxi, and had some fantasies about the American Dream. Well, I guess that regular immigrants take jobs away too, and I suppose that un-lazy Americans probably steal more jobs too, but that's besides the point. The point is that they don't know good English very good.


In order to make America more free, I propose that Orrin Hatch draft a new Amendment to the constitution, which repeals the 5th, 9th, 10th and 14th Amendments, in order to make a national law banning all Wal-Mart stores constitutional. Hell, why don't we just file anti-trust?
 
Top 5 Presidents of All Time
10.20.03 (3:56 pm)   [edit]
Since I'm really smart, people always ask me lots of questions. Usually, they're something like "Why are you such a close-minded facist asshole?" But once in a while I am asked who the 5 best US Presidents of all time are. So here goes:

#5 [b]John F. Kennedy[/b]

First off, he was a Catholic. This means he has a storied heritage of strong control and order-keeping. Like the legendary King Arthur, President Kennedy helped to establish a Dark Ages- style feudal system, by increasing the government's role in business, making it easier for rich CEO s to use the IRS to steal from the poor. And he finally reversed the old-fashioned idea of a “government for the people” with his much more altruistic “what you can do for your country.” Governments are not established for men, men are established for governments.
Let's not forget that this is the guy who invaded Cuba, started the Holy and Noble Vietnam War, before it was hijacked by peace necks, and gave the nation some of its most exciting moments in a century, by nearly getting the East Coast blown up by Soviet missiles.
And he got shot. Lincoln got shot. Therefore, Kennedy is an anti-slavery martyr, just like Lincoln.

#4 [b]William Henry Harrison[/b]

As we all know, suffering is a virtue, and dying for one's country is the greatest virtue. At his inaugural speech in 1841, he was so concerned about not looking like “a darn fruit,” that he refused to wear any winter clothes. He developed a cold and died of pneumonia a month later. This is a man who was a true martyr. This man would rather die than disgrace the Presidency's prestige by looking like a fag.

#3 [b]James K. Polk[/b]

Aside from the pansy-ass Thomas Jefferson, who had to buy his land, James K. Polk expanded America's territory more than any other President. He did it the manly way- by killing everyone who wasn't white in the area. After a glorious victory in the Mexican War, he killed a bunch of Indians (what the Hell were they doing in America anyway?) and let true Americans settle and claim property. This expansion of the nation's boundaries also opened the door for the expansion of slavery, until it was foolishly ended by the Northerners.

#2 [b]George W. Bush[/b]

Back in the good old Dark Ages, we were ruled by Lords who could use the King's authority to steal our money anytime they wanted, and the Lords would often get together and urge the King to start preemptive wars based on unfounded assertions against foreign nations, in order to capture their natural resources.
President Bush is taking us back to those proud days. Back then, there was no TV violence, no pornography magazines, no sex-saturated movies, no flaming homosexuals, no free blacks, no atheists, no ACLU, and most importantly, no social mobility. Bush is a modern-day King George, come to restore the Kingdom of America.

#1 [b]Franklin Delano Roosevelt[/b]

He killed Adolf Hitler and gave the poor their money back. Enough said.
Prior to the Roosevelt administration, there had been mild recessions before, but the government did not fulfill their constitutional duty to make sure everybody has lots of cool stuff, and stayed out of the economy. But when the recession came at the end of the Roaring Twenties, a time of unsurpassed prosperity, Roosevelt took control (Hoover doesn't really count) and made a bunch of pro-active measures, such as raising taxes for the poor and rich alike, making it illegal for businesses to make money they needed to hire new employees, closing banks left and right, expropriating (it's different than stealing. somehow.) peoples' property, fixing prices, and paying people not to work and create jobs.
Prior to Roosevelt, most Presidents had looked to the 5th, 9th, and 10th amendments of the Bill of Rights, and saw that they had no business interfering with the economy. But not Roosevelt. Thanks to him, we no longer have to worry about recessions, because they don't happen anymore.
 
Sesame Street Sponsors Obesity
10.14.03 (1:40 pm)   [edit]
In America today, obesity rates are soaring at record rates, mostly due to exercise habits we learned as children. Instead of jogging, running, picking cotton, sowing Nikes or beating each other up, today's children just sit around all day on their fat asses.

As you probably know, PBS has long shown 'sponsorship messages' for letters with its popular children's program, Sesame Street. It is understandable why these letters and the Big Evil Publishing Companies behind them would seek access to the impressionable young children that watch Sesame Street, but it is not understandable why PBS, which is supposed to be in the public service, would promote letters and reading, an activity that discourages exercise, and encourages life-threatening obesity.

Parents naively entrust Sesame Street with their children. They do not expect them to be delivered to the Big Evil Publishing Mega-Corporations like lambs to the slaughter. Many studies have shown that Sesame Street may instill a love of reading in young children, and these same children will not grow up to be bicyclists or bench pressers- no, instead they will sit inside and read, getting fatter by the minute.

Reading, as promoted by PBS, can be classified as an “addictive activity.” Many Big Evil Publishing Satanic Super-Evil Sons of a Bitches Cocksucking Asswiping MothaFucker Corporations are allowed to place advertisements everywhere children go, even at public schools, which should be a sanctuary from such things! Ads disguised as colorful posters encourage kids to “Get Hooked On Reading.” Cartoon characters, which tobacco companies are no longer allowed to use, are still tolerated to seduce young children into believing that 'libraries are cool,' and 'reading is fun.' One young girl, who instead of climbing trees and getting pregnant like kids did in my day, stayed up the entire night, reading a selection of particularly addictive Harry Potter-brand books. “I can't put them down!” wailed the sleep-deprived, non-exercising tormented addict.

Big Giant MultiNational Evil Publishing Satanic Terrorist Super-Evil Scumbag Racist Sons of a Bitches Cocksucking Hollywood Brainwashing Asswiping Child-Hating Pedophile Serial Killer MothaFucker Corporations have worked for decades to market their deadly products to children, and the writer stooges that can develop the most addictive novel that will keep kids glued to their fat seats for hours, are rewarded with the most blood money. Back in my day, children were only allowed to read boring, less addictive books about Dick and Jane. We would rush through the books, throw them aside, and go outside to ski, dance, lift weights, or smoke pot. In my day, only a small percentage of kids were overweight. Now, over 15% of children are gigantic fat asses. This trend needs to stop. Call or write PBS today, and threaten to withdraw your financial support, unless they stop allowing letters to sponsor shows. It's your children!
 
Atheists aren't as bright as they think- those dumb*sses
10.13.03 (9:28 am)   [edit]
Noted racist, supporter of oppressive monarchies, opponent of the American Revolution, and pseudo-intellectual political propagandist Edmund Burke wrote in his “Reflections on the Revolution in France,” “We have always had atheists among us, but now they have grown turbulent and seditious.” This same thing is happening in modern America, where atheists are publicly admitting their lack of belief in God and explicitly criticizing religious leaders. They are agitating for political and social equality. They are Satanic potheads.

Atheists consider themselves to be right, and other people wrong. They have the audacity to claim that their viewpoint is more rational than the faith-based one, just because theirs is based on actual thought instead of arbitrary stupidity. But the atheists, despite their fancy-ass college degrees, fall victim to what Immanuel Kant called the “Fallacy of the Enlightenment.”

You see, Enlightenment thinking is pretty ridiculous, with all of it's babble about individual rights, reason, humanity, stopping oppression, etc. Rational thinker think that there is only one limit to reason- reality itself. They never try and go 'beyond reality.' Why should we assume that our five senses tell us everything there is? There are limits to perception. Why couldn't there be an invisible, unsmellable, soundless, motionless, untouchable, untasteable giant monster standing in front of you, ready to bash your head in unless you become a Premium Member of this website? (send $50 to spartacus_007@msn.com via PayPal http://www.paypal.com quick!) There could be some mysterious 'sixth sense' that would allow you to watch Santa Claus coming down the chimney. There could be a mysterious 'seventh sense' that tells you 2+2=5. To brashly assume that there isn't something just because you have no reason to think it exists doesn't mean that it doesn't exists. Therefore, there is a God, and atheists are foolish stupid motherfucking cocksuckers.
 
Sunday Mailbag
10.12.03 (2:48 pm)   [edit]
Today is Sunday, and that means Mailbag day, when I arbitrarily select comments sent in by fans and respond to them in dismissive ways that remind myself how much smarter I am than everyone else. Even though I took Friday and Saturday off, this week was still a busy week for comments, since the two quizzes I wrote were taken by over 4,000 people, many of whom are really stupid, as you can see by a selection of their comments below.

“YOU MAKE ME FUCKING SICK!! YOUR FUCKIN NAZI SCUM! YOU THINK YOUR FASCIST BELIEFS ARE THE “RIGHT BELIEFS”? YOUR PROLLY A “FAG” MOST OF YOU CUNTS ARE! AND I AM NOT SCARED OF YOU, YOU'RE JUST A PATHETIC LITTLE WHINING NAZI BITCH! AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IF” - thevampirerayven

OK, first of all, you Gothic retard, my fascist beliefs ARE the right beliefs. Those quotation marks you put around that phrase just go to show the moral relativism of the Left. What does the word 'prolly' mean? No, I'm not a fag, I hate fags. No, I'm not a cunt, I'm a guy. An appropriate insult would be a 'dick' or a 'cock.' You should be scared of me, you pathetic little whining Gothic bitch. Care to explain the last phrase of your letter?

Other letters were written by equally intelligent people, none of whom owned spell or grammar checkers.

“I dont like u. Your gonna burn in hell like me 4 being such a fuckin predjudgist fucktard. i'll save us a sit next 2 me in hell.” - RockxXxmyxXxsock27

“I'm going to hell eh thats nice its warm down there lol your against gays eh I dont understand why your god is against gays why please tell me I dont see how being gay is wrong It makes no sense whats wrong with it!!! could u tell me plz thanks Im sorr” - jen84314

“ok. I dunno if u messed up or wut but 4 some reason, Adolf Hitler is on the “ur goin 2o heaven” result on ur where will u go in the afterlife quiz. If u did it on purpose, u are sick and strang.and y the hell is Thomas Jefferson goin 2 hell? And y r all a” - Cerveth

Of course, the quizzes weren't the only thing happening this week. I also wrote an article about the Free State Project, which solicited a few supporting comments. franc tireur wrote:

“...liberty is for wusses heh”

Fight the power, franc. Another popular item was my Most Stupidest Thingy of the Arbitrary Time Period entry, about the phrase “under God” belonging in our Declaration of Independence. Mikey1, who wrote in last week as well, left the comment:

“You contradicted yourself, you know. And I know what you are trying to do, you opposite writer person you. I think you will eat what you believe. Or is that part of your joke and I missed somthing? You are confused, arn't you? Even if you arn't, you are confusing.”

Mikey1's neurotic statements just go to show the insanity of the anti-God lobby. And Mikey1, we talked about the nature of contradictions in last week's mailbag. Please pay attention. Misty did pay attention, and left me the long, boring comment below:

“just though i'd let you know that i respect you for having a cause and not wasting an entire blog on meaningless crap about your personal life. i would like to point out though, that you seem to leave very little room for people who “think with the conservative side of the brain” as i don't know how else to put it, but who are still open to the liberal side. i am not a supporter of abortion, nor am i a supporter of the death penalty or offensive war. and don't call people idiots until you find out their reasoning behind what they believe. It's highly possible that they have a more legit. reason than you.”

Yes, I agree that personal lives are meaningless crap compared to the Good of Society, but you are wrong in accusing me of being one-sided politically. Both the far right and the far left have good things about them. I not only hate fags, women, the poor, atheists and racial minorities, and think 'civil rights' are a sack of crap, but I also support the fusion of Big Government and Big Business, think that taxation rate should be 100%, and think self-defense should be against the law. I call people idiots because I already know their reasoning behind what they believe- Satan. Unless you believe that Satan is a 'more legit. reason' than the Common Good, I am obviously right.

And, a couple fans didn't like my responses to their comments last week. WinstonSmith wrote what he probably thought was hilarious sarcasm:

“When are you going to be awarded the Nobel Prize, nimrod? (Not in this universe-- that's for sure ... ooopppsss, maybe I'm wrong: indeed, Bushy-boy might award it to you if you suck-up often enough!)

As a matter of fact, I have already been awarded the Pulitzer, and the nation of Algeria is working with the UN Human Rights Council to pass international law mandating that I win a Nobel Prize at least twice a decade. SamAdams posted his comment, which read in part:

“You... are ideologues who lap-up Rush Limbaugh's doped-up propaganda like brain-dead sheep. You're full of bile .... but not many facts ... too bad ..”

I'm guessing you finally put down the crack, Sam, because you deleted your comment the next day. Thanks for coming around to the good side finally. Everyone needs to go check out Sam Adam's Counterpoint http://samadams.tblog.com/ It's a hilarious satire of liberal propaganda. Bush stupid indeed! Cracks me up. I changed another man's mind this week as well- after taking my quiz, mighname wrote:

“Ignorance is bliss, isn't it.”

I sent mighname a link to this site, suggesting he read everything on it. He sent a brief reply, which read:

“don't I feel dumb...”

Having realized the error of his ways, I'm sure mighname will soon sign up for Premium Membership (by sending $50 via PayPal http://www.paypal.com to spartacus_007@msn.com) and guarantee himself a spot in Heaven. If anyone has comments, you can post them on the comments section below each story, send me a private message, or e-mail me. Until tomorrow, this is Billy Strohman, urging you to go to church today, or go to Hell.
 
Where Will You Go In The Afterlife?
10.09.03 (8:35 pm)   [edit]
I have developed a quiz to help you determine where you will go in the afterlife.

Where Will You Go In The Afterlife?
 
Ban Home Security Systems
10.08.03 (9:28 pm)   [edit]
I spend most of my time exposing liberals for the atheists :twisted: that they are. But sometimes they have a good point.

Fred was a 9-year old child who loved bugs, baseball, and the Powerpuff Girls. One night, he woke up to use the bathroom. As he walked through the living room, he walked over the the fireplace, where his father's shotgun was resting on top of the mantle. Fred stared upwards at it. Suddenly, a robber broke through the window of the house. The loud alarm startled Fred, who jumped in surprise, bumping his head hard against the fireplace mantle. It cracked his skull, leaving 20 fractures, and Fred dead. :cry:
Home Security Systems cause these types of accidents all the time, many of them fatal. In fact, 5 kids a day are killed by Home Security Systems. You can tell how dangerous they are by how easy it was for me to make that stat up. Many Home Security System-toting wackos from the backwoods of Arkansas claim that Home Security Systems help protect them from the evil bad robber men, pirate kidnappers, and bogeymen they imagine are lurking everywhere. But a member of your own family is more likely to accidentally set off your Home Security System while coming home late, than an serial killer is.
So, the powerful Home Security System Lobby in Washington has worked to strike down every bill we've tried to pass. No required background checks into the buyers' personal lives, no mandatory 12-month or 12-murders-in-your-neighb orhood (whichever comes first) waiting period, no ban of any Home Security Systems that work really well, no required registration of the type, layout and security pass codes for all Home Security Systems in the United States. Think of the children!
The evil National Home Security Systems Manufacturers of America Association, (NHSSMAA) has tried to twist the Bill of Rights, with its guarantees of self-defense, life, liberty, property, due process, rights not explicitly unstated, and probably a bunchload of others, into an imaginary 'Right To Kill Little Kids With Home Security Systems.' I say that's Crap, and this is the 'No Crap Zone.' Call your Congressperson, and ask them to support reasonable Home Security System Control. (outright ban)
 
"under God"
10.07.03 (5:54 pm)   [edit]
Most Stupidest Thingy of the Arbitrary Time Period

The Supreme Court is set to rule on whether or not it will hold hearings on Newdow v. Public Morality, Human Decency, and Righteous God Fearing People of the Lord, the case in which Michael Newdow, one of Satan's evil minions, is trying to remove “under God” from the Constitution. He claims that because his heathen daughter is forced by law to hear her schoolteacher, a government agent, use government time, government resources and government property to pressure her into swearing an oath that places her and her nation “under God,” the government is somehow respecting an establishment of religion.
The First Amendment does not prohibit that kind of thing. I don't know where Newdow got the idea that the God in “under God” referred to the Christian idea of God, and it should not be offensive to anyone who worships within a traditional monotheistic religion with an omnipotent male God that likes to be praised all the time. And think of the consequences if she didn't pledge allegiance to a nation under God- she might try and shoot all her classmates to death, or start ramming planes into buildings.
All of our nation's creators were devout Christians, except for John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, Thomas Paine, Ethan Allen, George Washington, and a bunch of others. If you go back and read the historical documents of the time, carefully ignoring the fact that 'Creator' refers to the Deists' idea of Natural Forces, and skipping over Article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli, most of Thomas Paine's books, Jefferson's re-writing of the Bible, Ben Franklin's autobiography, and Article VI, Section 3 and The First Amendment of the Constitution, you can clearly see that our civil rights are based upon the Ten Commandments, and not requiring schoolchildren and immigrants becoming citizens to take an oath praising God is contrary to the intentions of these great men.
A fact that the liberal dominated media doesn't tell you is that near the end, the Constitution itself consecrates the nation to Jesus Christ. Right before the signatures, it reads “...present the seventeenth day of September in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and eighty seven...” The Constitution itself declares that the entire years 1777 is Jesus's year, and by implication, the American Revolution and the nation itself belongs to Christ.
Besides, America is a Christian nation, and we're going to discriminate against non-Christians. It's only fair. Iran is a Islamic nation, and you don't see the ACLU suing them whenever they discriminate against non-Muslims. This nation is built upon the legacy our white male protestant land-owning slave-owning heterosexual founding fathers started, and there's nothing wrong with a little oppression here and there. It's to be expected.
 
Free State Project Not About Freedom
10.06.03 (12:29 pm)   [edit]
It has come to my attention that a bunch of anarchists are planning to move to New Hampshire and take over the state, in the name of freedom. But what those involved with the “Free State Project” are promoting is the exact opposite of freedom.
The Free State Project (http://www.freestateproject.c...) is yet another wacky idea Satan's angles, the libertarians, have dreamed up, as a part of his continuing efforts to demolish the United States Government, and all that it stands for. The libertarians believe in such anarchistic and radically [conservatives: read liberal. liberals: read conservative.] manifestos like the Declaration of Independence, and the Bill of Rights. They are opposed to people, whether elected or not, taking away what they see as the “inalienable rights of Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness.”
They want to repeal zoning laws, lower taxes, own guns, speak freely, marry whoever they want, have sex with whoever they want, even without God's permission, sells cocaine to kids, give free prostitutes to kindergartners, whom they will forbid from getting an education, bankrupt every corporation that so much as releases a single carbon atom into the air, establish Satanic Humanism as the national religion, and use government funding to crash planes into the World Trade Center. They are evil, evil, evil.
You see, they talk about freedom. But what will result is an UnFree State. They ignore several basic freedoms, currently enjoyed by many Americans. Like what about my freedom from gay people moving in next door? Or my freedom to rape their wives without fear of being shot? Or my son's freedom from ever having to make his own choice about drug use? Or my daughter's freedom from breathing clean air? Or my boss's freedom to steal poor peoples' money and use it to buy yachts? Or my wife's freedom to go to prison after not being able to pay the fine for accidently building our gate too high for city zoning laws? Or my other son's freedom to get brainwashed by a government-owned and operated education facility? Are these the kinds of freedoms we're willing to give up? Do we really want to live in a state that combines the ideals of the 18th Century Revolutionaries with the tolerance of the civil rights era? Unless the Free State Project fails, this country is going to Hell.

[image]spartacus007_72730 7520.jpg[/image]

 
Where Are You On The Political Spectrum?
10.05.03 (11:06 pm)   [edit]
Take my quiz


Take my quiz, and find out where you fit in.

 
Sunday Mailbag
10.05.03 (6:05 pm)   [edit]
[image]picofbilly.bmp[/image]

Sunday Mailbag

Every week I like to remind myself how important I am, by responding to the mail sent in by my fans, both supporters and critics alike. I don't really care whether you support me or not, just so long as I get attention. Of course, my favorite kind of fan is one who is also a Premium Member, which you can become simply by sending $50 to spartacus_007@msn.com via PayPal. (www.PayPal.com)

Our first letter is from JamesYerian, about my interview with Ms. Nancy Northup, about baby killing. He writes, in part:

“Partial birth abortion occurs with an almost-term fetus, er, baby. With its arms and legs outside the womb, but with its head not yet delivered, a doctor takes a device and crushes the baby's skull and then sucks out the brain... Oh well. Fuck you.”

Assuming James, you were directing your comments at Ms. Northup, I wholeheartedly agree. She does need to be fucked. That's the only way to give my sperm cells the life they deserve. As far as your gruesome description of partial-birth murder goes, I about puked. The only people who deserve to be tortured to death are murderers, rapists, drug dealers, innocent Iraqi civilians and anyone in Guantanamo Bay. Leave those babies alone! If a person refuses to leave your property, and keeps taking your food and fluids without permission, and there is no way to get them to leave other than force, you have every right to force them off, even if it results in their death. Unless, of course, you're a woman.

You and I could be good buddies, James. You need to open your articles up for public comment.

The next letter addressing this interview comes from someone known as 'DRAMA:'

“I was about to lock all my doors and hide in the closet...”

Well, DRAMA, you've let the liberal media frighten you. Law-abiding, terrorist-hating anti-feminist Americans who have never been outside the country in the last 30 years and don't have a tan or a turban have nothing to hide from the All-Seeing eyes of John Ashcroft.

Our next letter come from Mikey1, who writes:

“None of you make sense... I really see no point in this stupid little blog... If one thing is incorrect, then that same one thing can't be correct.”

Well, Mikey1, you are dead wrong. Just because something is incorrect doesn't mean that it can't be simultaneously correct as well. For example, is it terrorism to frighten and kill innocent civilians when we're discussing 9/11 (you have to say just the day and month so it sounds special enough to violate our constitution for) but not terrorism to frighten and kill innocent civilians when we're discussing Guantanamo Bay, Waco, Afghanistan and Iraq? I say yes. Can the government have sufficient interest to alienate an inalienable right? When does it not? Is the Bill of Rights only a great document when we're discussing the amendments I like, but an archaic, misunderstood document when we're discussing the amendments I don't like? I say yes. Well, I actually don't like any amendments in the Bill of Rights, but you get my point.

And, of course, there are the comments made by the hysterical anti-Bush crowd, over my interview with Gen. Clark. SamAdams writes:

“Liberals may “harass” Bush, but Bush is responsible for the costs and treasure resulting from having massacred over 637 US & British Soldiers, 17 Journalists & over 9000 innocent Iraqi civilians. I'd say Bush deserves to be “harassed”... More than that he should be impeached and tried for Crimes Against Humanity.”

Hey SamAdams, if that is your real name, next time try reading the sidebar: This is the “No Crap Zone,” and that letter was a bunch of crap! The media has made up lies about every President since VanBuren. You guys make up all kinds of crazy stories- Bush killing people, Eisenhower cheating at golf, Hoover cheating on his wife, Lincoln being a Negro-lover, Fillmore being a transvestite, Kennedy being a Communist, Nixon breaking into Watergate, Roosevelt being a Democrat, Hitler killing Jews, all crap.

The final comment for the day comes from an idiot who actually has the audacity to claim I'M a liar. From WinstonSmith:

“Actually, Billy is lying on a couple of points: 1) if Hussein HAD wmds that posed an imminent threat to us, where are they? 2) the cost of Bush's insane hitlerian incursion in Iraq costs over $166 billion ... and the massive costs in denied services as well as the interest on debt, will cost the lower-income, fixed-income-retirees & middle-class; far more-- in fact, they will find themselves raped senseless ... while the rich & corporations are making out like the robber-baron bandits, thieves & looters they are”

OK Winston, let's look at point number one. That's a question, how could I lie about a question? You idiot. 2) why do you goddamned liberals keep bringing up how much the war will cost? The real robber-barons aren't the corporations who get their money from tax dollars stolen from the poor, The real robber-barons ARE the poor, especially those who wanted freedom so bad that they had to sneak into this great nation to avoid being shot by government agents. If you would have attended one of our government operated schools, you would realize that automatically, almost like you had been programmed. You had best watch you who call a liar, or my buddies at Homeland Security will make sure you end up like the real Winston Smith.

If you have any pithy comments or questions about my fight for Freedom, Justice and the American Way, post them on the public comments section of each story, send me a private comment, or e-mail me at spartacus_007@msn.com
 
Liberals Harass Bush
10.04.03 (11:40 pm)   [edit]
Transcript from NAZITV's The Strohman Thingy

BILLY: I, for one, am sick and tired of the extreme left criticizing Bush's handling of the Divine War on Evil Iraq. Here with me is guest General Wesley Dumbass Clark, who is one of the 100 morons running for second place in the 2004 Presidential Election.


CLARK: Well, Mr. Strohman, there are a lot of questions that all Americans, across the political spectrum are asking about the Bush Administration.

BILLY: What assholes. Well, name some questions.

CLARK: Before the war, Bush cited a lot of evidence of WMDs. Where are they?

BILLY: How the hell should I know? I believe Bush-appointed David Kay made some unwarranted assertions a few days ago about there being Bolonium or something in Iraq. Hussein probably hid them. Just because you can't find them doesn't mean they're not there. Just like magic faries.

CLARK: Why exactly are we at war with Iraq?

BILLY: Oil. I mean, um, uh, not oil, uh, September 11th.

CLARK: Even though there is no link between Iraq and the 2001 hijackers?

BILLY: Um, freedom, yeah, freedom! We just freed an entire nation! Now, instead of being oppressed by Saddam Hussein, we'll give money and weapons and power to another fundamentalist government, who, after a brief period of violent anarchy, will be able to oppress the Iraqis once again.

CLARK: And that's a good thing?

BILLY: You goddamn revisionists!

CLARK: Did Bush oversell the war?

BILLY: No! If we wouldn't have invaded Iraq, Hussein and his two sons would have hijacked nuclear airplanes and sprayed poison gas over all the easily-frightened working class families, just like Hitler. If anything Bush undersold the war.

CLARK: Is this turning into another Vietnam?

BILLY: No, there's a huge difference between Iraq and Vietnam. Vietnam was started by an incompetent Democrat, and Iraq was started by an incompetent Republican.

CLARK: How long are we going to be in Iraq?

BILLY: The question is not 'how long are we going to be in Iraq,' the question is, why do you goddamn liberals keep asking that question!

CLARK: Did Hussein really have Weapons of Mass Destruction?


BILLY: Of course he did! To suggest otherwise would be to question our policies towards Iraq for the last 12 years.

CLARK: How much is the War in Iraq going to cost the average citizen?

BILLY: Well, if you figure $100 billion divided by 200 million taxpayers... $500 each. The same total as that rebate a couple of years ago. See? We're even!
 
Baby Killers!
10.04.03 (12:22 am)   [edit]
Transcript from NAZITV's The Strohman Thingy

BILLY: On today's show we have distinguished guest and infamous baby killer Nancy Northup, president of the Center for Reproductive Rights, here to talk to us about the latest legislation on capitol hill. Ms. Northup, why do you kill innocent children?

NANCY: I don't!! What I do is support is a woman's right to control who and what lives in her body. The Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003 will prevent doctors from using the safest---

BILLY: Whoa, whoa, whoa, who said anything about the Partial-Birth Thingamagij?

NANCY: Well, Billy, you did say I was here to talk about the latest anti-abortion legislation, right?

BILLY: Yes. The Anti-Evil-Baby-Killer-Scu mbag-Satanic-Communist-If YouDon'tSupportThisYou're GoingToHell Act of 2003.

NANCY: I haven't heard anything about this. If the house is trying to pass legislation that destroys womens' rights covertly, I've got to rush back to CRP headquarters and file a lawsuit!

BILLY: No, no, it's just an idea I came up with a couple of minutes ago, while taking a dump. I'm going to fax it over to my buddies in Washington, and they'll pass it for me. That is, unless Satan's dark agents manage to vote it down.

NANCY: Um, ok. What exactly does this Act say?

BILLY: Well, the Anti-Evil-Baby-Killer-Scu mbag-Satanic-Communist-bl ah-blah-blah-thingy of 2003 will make sure that every cell in America with the potential to become an individual person will be allowed to do so.

NANCY: You're going to ban abortion? That's been tried before.

BILLY: Well, not exactly. Think about it, Ms. Northup, you're what, 60?

NANCY: 34.

BILLY: And you've had how many children? Three? Four?

NANCY: I have chosen not to have any children.

BILLY: None? You've got to be kidding me. If you're 60 years old, and your ovaries start to develop at what, age 12, that means you could have had like what, 600 kids by now?

NANCY: Um, 34, but I think you need to...

BILLY: And that's just assuming you don't have any twins or triplets or anything like that. That's over 600 little children who will never breath the fresh air of freedom, who will never make you a mother's day card, who will never grow up and start a family of their own, who will never vote for me when I run for President in 2018. You killed them, Ms. Northup!

NANCY: Look, I've never killed anyone! I've never even been pregnant!

BILLY: Exactly! You're a cold-blooded murderer. I hope you burn in Hell. Why did you murder these hundreds of little babies? Convenience? Fear of adoption? Career? Lesbianism? Cold-blooded hate?

NANCY: Um, you see, that's the whole misunderstanding of the pro-life position. Denying someone life and killing them are two different things.

BILLY: Like Hell they are! If you deny someone air, you kill them. If you deny a thirsty man water, you kill him. If you deny a sick boy a world series homer, you kill him. If you deny a baby a womb, an umbilical cord, free food and shelter for 9 months and a smoke-free diet, you kill him. You see, we have to all live for each other. That's what America's about.

NANCY: Um, how can I kill the babies if they haven't even been born yet?

BILLY: But they exist! As sperm cells, and future sperm cells. Sperm cells have feelings, Ms. Northup. Microscope scientists have shown them smiling. One minute, and I'll show you one.

NANCY: Just because something can smile doesn't give it the right to my womb for 9 months! What are you doing, Billy?

BILLY: Look at it smile!

---commercial break---

BILLY: Well, it looks like my little – ahem, big- demonstration offended Ms. Northup. Those liberals (chuckling) all about free speech, until it offends them. Anyway, I'll just use the rest of the show to pitch my Act. You see, there are billions of women of child-bearing age in America, and every second they waste not getting pregnant denies one more second of life to an unborn infant. So my law will make it so every woman has to be continually pregnant or in the act of getting pregnant. preferably with me. I'm sure the Liberals in the legislature will try and stall the bill, debating it endlessly, and trying to tack on exceptions, such as recovery from childbirth, or medical exemptions, or try and get the Supreme Court to strike it down, by misapplying the “Cruel and Unusual Punishment” thingy to the part about gang-raping to death those who disobey my law. So if you're Pro-Life, write your congressperson now, and ask them to support my bill. Until then, I'm Billy Strohman, of NAZITV's The Strohman Thingy, signing out.
 
Sckwarzenagqer, or however you spell it, Rocks!
10.03.03 (11:07 am)   [edit]
:arrow: (this is satire! [that means it's really anti-evil, only in a clever way that provides harsh criticism of real racists] Read the disclaimer on the side panel!) :!:
Doesn't Arnold just keep getting better and better? First the news breaks that he's had orgies that the average man can only dream about. He has lived the fantasy life of all the nation's men. This is a guy who understands the American Dream- he's lived it! And if he can do for California what he's done to his sex life, then I'm wetting my pants with excitement. :wink:
Normally, I would pull out my Old Testament and start condemning Arnie to Hell, but, he did apologize. And besides, he's a Nazi! You heard it here, an actual Hitler fan has a good chance at winning a major office in 21st Century America! This is a great day for white children everywhere.
Just in case you don't believe me, you can read it here- http://www.foxnews.com/story/...,2933,98982,00.html The Terminator was quoted as saying “I admired Hitler, for instance, because he came from being a little man with almost no formal education, up to power. I admire him for being such a good public speaker and for what he did with it.”
So do I. Hitler entrenched a corporate socialism into a nation who just a couple of years before was gripped in anti-socialist hysteria. He nationalized everything, promoted family values, made sure women stayed home and reared their children, made sure everyone was healthy, passed anti-vivisection and other Animal Rights laws, promoted the altruistic virtues of sacrificing the self for the society, and starred in a really great film by Leni Reifenstahlshitczberg.
Of course, there was the whole anti-Jew-Gypsy-Jehovah'sW itness-Commi-Atheist-Anyo neWhoWasn'tANazi massacre deal, but I am sick of everyone being given an automatic black mark in history just because they're a little prejudiced. Back in the 1950's, anyone who belonged to the Communist Party was blacklisted, just because they wanted to overthrow the US government and replace it with a tyrannical code that made no recognition of basic human rights, including life, liberty, property, pursuit of happiness, free speech, etc. This was wrong. Just because someone is evil doesn't mean you don't associate with them. Elia Kazan was a real asshole. On The Waterfront sucked ass. :cry:
But that's what's going on today. If you are a racist, no one wants to be around you. Just because Rush Limbaugh is a bigot who hides his hatred for non-whites behind anti-immigration laws and veiled comments on black quarterbacks doesn't mean people shouldn't hire them to be on their TV shows. Just because someone has no political experience, has a history of demeaning women, and at least used to be a wanna-be-Nazi, doesn't mean you shouldn't put them in charge of our nation's biggest economy, and millions of peoples' individual rights.
I think we need more tolerance towards everyone, communists, Nazis, racist bigots, and serial child molesters alike. :)
 
2003 Force People To Be Nicer Act
10.02.03 (12:30 pm)   [edit]
A high schooler brings a gun to school and opens fire on his classmates. A group of elementary school kids karate kicks their friend to death during a lively game of Power Rangers. An insane man tries to kill the president thinking he has to save Jodie Foster’s life. A Canadian street gang goes on an ultraviolent rape rampage after viewing Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange. Rioters and looters storm through the South after the release of a Spike Lee film. Some stupid poor kid joins a drug smuggling ring and gets himself shot after Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg told him it was cool. A stupid rich kid joins MI6 and gets himself shot after Sean Connery told him it was cool.

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have any of these problems. According to the US Depot of Health & Human Services, the national violent reported crime rate in 1901 was 1 per 100,000 population, while in 1991 it was around 10. The difference? In 1901, fewer people were literate, even fewer owned radios, hardly any motion pictures had been made, and nobody watched television.
Statistics don’t lie. This trend is entirely the fault of a Commi-Nazi group commonly referred to as ‘The Media.’ ‘The Media’ is an evil tool of the Dark Lord Satan and is committed to devouring your children’s souls whole in a damnable orgy of destruction and eternal torment. That is why I, along with the Union of Concerned Fascist Parents (UCFP), urge you to petition your representatives in Congress to curtail the level of anger in the media.

When a person, especially a child, experiences anger in ‘The Media’ they become angry. Once they are angry they have no choice but to perform angry acts like becoming suicide bombers or swearing at their elders. Contrary opinions notwithstanding, individuals are incapable of making their own choices, and it is high time the government stepped in to run things.
Nowadays, it seems one can’t watch a movie or read a book without being exposed to some form of anger. According to UCFP statistics, a child is exposed to at least 100,000 images, sounds, or words of anger by the time they reach age 3. Is it any wonder that our world is in the state it is? Terrorists blowing up our buildings, children shooting children, people buying cigarettes, all this is the fault of ‘The Media.’

Even supposedly ‘family friendly’ programs like Sesame Street or Mister Rogers contain, on average, half a dozen situations of anger each episode. And often, the full disastrous consequences of anger are not shown. What kind of message are we sending our children?
UCFP is pressuring Congress to pass the 2003 Force People To Be Nicer Act, which would eliminate all instances of anger from our cinema, television, literature, music, theater, painting, sculpture, oration, photography, dance, ceramics, speech, action and thought. If enacted, this bill would transform America into the great society our founding fathers envisioned when they peacefully staged their humble, nonviolent revolution over two centuries ago.

Obviously, passing this bill won’t be easy. ‘The Media’ has already sent lobbyists to Washington, filling their minds with blather about inalienable Rights to Life, Liberty and Property. Well, I ask, what about my Right to Live In An Anger-Free America, or my children’s’ Right to Not Know Anything About Human Emotion? There’s also an archaic document known as ‘The Constitution,’ which reportedly recognizes freedom of speech, press and conscience. Well, ‘The Constitution’ was written so long ago, it’s hard to tell what it really says. The courts have ruled that it’s fine to alienate a few rights here and there, so long as it’s in the government’s sufficient interest to do so. And believe me, this administration has more than ‘sufficient interest’ to ban anger.

America’s dark and troubled history is full of instances of Media-initiated violence. A bloody uprising in New England was traced to Thomas Paine’s pamphlets. The worst riots in memory occurred because of a videotaped police beating. Even President Lincoln blamed violence on The Media, when he gave the anger-saturated novel Uncle Tom’s Cabin credit for starting the Civil War.
The 2003 Force People To Be Nicer Act will end this vicious cycle and make America a more tolerable place to live. Similar guidelines have gained much support in forward thinking nations like Cuba, Saudi Arabia, North Korea, Zimbabwe, Iran and China, where they have brought much peace and tranquility. No, the Act will not make America a utopia, but it is the best piece of legislation since Prohibition and possibly since the Income Tax. Write your Congressperson.
 
Exclusive Content!
10.01.03 (11:33 pm)   [edit]
:evil: Billy Strohman is angry! He has uncovered a secret plot that places all Americans in immediate danger of dying an agonizingly painful death.

:roll: Unfortunatly, this info is only avaliable to Premium Members. If you are interested in Premium Membership, please send $50 via PayPal to spartacus_007@msn.com The rest of you are doomed.
 
Welcome!
10.01.03 (11:26 pm)   [edit]
[image]picofbilly.bmp[/image]

:lol: Hello, and welcome to my new Billy Storhman website!

Thanks for checking us out.


Whether you are interested in the topics I cover on Communist One's "Radio Thingy", the guests and issues confronted on NAZITV's "The Storhman Thingy", or in learning a bit more about my perspective on the world, you've come to a place that won't waste your time.

 
I've launched spartacus007.tblog.com with you in mind. My team and I look forward to using this new web site to provide you with even more of the information and analysis you're looking for when you tune into my radio and TV programs. We hope that this site will help us to hear from you and allow even greater audience involvement with the "No Crap" concept.
 
Today on spartacus007.tblog.com you'll find information about me, my radio and TV programs, books, articles, and licensed merchandise. OK, actually you won't but soon! In the near future we're looking forward to expanding our web efforts to include regularly updated information about the issues and people covered on my shows PLUS exclusive new members-only content that will provide an inside look at the "Thingy" world.
 
Please let me know what you think.

Best regards,

Billy


P.S. If you'd like to become a Premium Member of spartacus007.tblog.com you will gain access to even more Thingy-related content, including behind the scenes info and exclusive webcasts from me. If you are interested in Premium Membership, send $50 via PayPal to spartacus_007@msn.com
 

Billy Strohman America's #1 cable TV news commentator, leading radio personality and best-selling author, and host of NAZITV's "The Strohman Thingy."
spartacus007.tblog.com is Billy's home on the web. Visit us often in the 'No Crap Zone,' and read his latest articles.